Big Joe is a fucking man-whore. I'm so pissed at him right now. I bring this dumbass to a party and what the fuck does he do? First he whips out his cock and starts showing it to everyone. I mean sure, he's got a fairly big one and it is hard, like ALL THE TIME, but most of the time it pops off his torso and just falls to the floor. If my private parts were prone to falling off, I doubt I would show that to everyone.
So, we are at the bachelorette party and not only is my date naked, but he is showing off his schlong and his "abs" (which are just airbrushed on!) but then he starts letting everyone one of the girls fondle his member. What a dumbass! He has no remorse or tact. There I was watching him with that same expression on his face. It's part surprise and part 'let's party". In photos it doesn't look that bad, but after spending any amount of time with him you will want to slap that expression right off of his face.
So, we finally leave my friends house and Big Joe isn't even near me. One of my, so-called friends has grabbed him by the butt and is stuffing him into her car. Listen Big Joe, you can't blame this on her, I KNOW she is a slut but you were supposed to be mine.
Then we go out to the club and Big Fucking Joe can't even get in. That's right, this place has a ban on people "like him" who can't figure out the dress code.
So one of my friends gets an idea, we can deflate him and stuff him in her giant purse, then blow him up later. Well, that took forever. He has some kind of foolproof valve that doesn't let you deflate him quickly. So we spent 10 minutes in the parking lot deflating him. Then we stuffed him and his dildo dong into her purse and went inside.
We tried to inflate Big Joe in the bathroom, but it didn't work. I didn't want the headache and I didn't want to be thrown out again. He spent the second half of the night in my friend's purse and his dong ended up in mine.
Now it is a couple of days later and all I have left to remember him is his disjoined member. It's creepy as hell. I'm living in fear that some day I am going to come home drunk and his dong will look good to me. Big Joe was the worst date ever.
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