Okay, we’ll confess up front: even though it says “RECOVERING” in big bold letters, this mask is not going to help you recover from that monster of a hangover. Not even close. You decided to do that fourth round of tequila shots, you decided to do your first jagerbomb since sophomore year of college, you decided to slurp up those three half-full strawberry daiquiris someone just thoughtlessly abandoned on a table on the way out, and unfortunately, you’re just going to have to live with the consequences of those decisions. But hey, that’s the whole point of a Bachelorette Party, right? It wouldn’t truly feel like your last night of freedom if you didn’t wake up in the morning feeling like it might also have been your last night in the realm of the living.
Even though this sleep mask won’t cure your hangover, it might help you get a little more of the precious, precious sleep that will. The bridesmaids’ first instinct in the morning will probably be to wake you up at the crack of dawn for some inane reason, like they’re wondering if you have any cereal they can eat, or their cars are parked in, or your house is on fire because you forgot to put out the penis-shaped candles. But they’ll think twice about waking you up for something so trivial when they see this sleep mask over your eyes. The mask reads “Recovering from one wild bachelorette party” - it should remind them what a fun time they had celebrating your upcoming marriage, which might persuade them to take it easy on you the morning after. If your marriage is the morning after your Bachelorette Party, though, good luck - the groom’s parents probably won’t take too kindly to you wearing this over your eyes on the altar!
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